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Safe spaces! Trigger warnings! Why should we read the great poets of English literature? They’re all white males! Where are the bathrooms for trans-whatever? Why do we have to adhere to the requirements on the syllabus? Why can’t I get special treatment on my grading just this once? I just need this one class to graduate! 

Yale University just got the latest “newsworthy” petition from whinging students regarding having the read Chaucer, Shakespeare, Wordsworth, and other “colonial” writers — tired code for whatever grievance studies curriculum is railing about, and which was a tired retread of the socialist dialectic when terrible scholars like Edward Said first trotskyied it out. The administration, in typical form, went mealy-mouthed about how it wasn’t right you have to read Dead Whitey Words but you need to see the history of English lit… The usual prelude to folding like a lawn chair to their students’ demands. They’ll do it with the trans bathroom BS, as well.

Professors and administration have been shocked to find that a generation of childish and undereducated lazy kids, raised on vicitms’ studies ideas in high school and prepetuated by the divisie politics of Progressives, would find the rigors of reading something you don’t like invasive. They shouldn’t be; they created these monstrous little cry-babies.

Since they are at a loss as to how to handle it, here’s a humble but entirely effective soluton to the conundrum (that means “problem”, English Lit majors…you’d know that if you read your assignment last week…)

 Send them down.

Kick them out.

Dispense with their bullshit entirely.

Then maybe you should defund the victims studies programs you’ve created, and which do nothing to educate, but only perpetuate themselves by creating more academics capable of teaching “how to bitch about the past.”